[proofplan]
The proof is the infinitesimal content of symplectic reduction. First, the reduced Hamiltonian vector field is the projection of the original Hamiltonian vector field along the quotient map $\pi_\mu$. Second, the kernel of $d(\pi_\mu)_m$ is exactly the tangent space to the $G_\mu$-orbit through $m$. Therefore vanishing of the reduced vector field is equivalent to $X_H(m)$ being vertical for the quotient, which is exactly the infinitesimal condition for a relative equilibrium at fixed momentum.
[/proofplan]
[step:Identify the reduced Hamiltonian vector field as the projection of $X_H$]
Since $X_H$ is tangent to $J^{-1}(\mu)$, define the restricted vector field
\begin{align*}
X_H^\mu:J^{-1}(\mu)&\to T(J^{-1}(\mu))
\end{align*}
by
\begin{align*}
X_H^\mu(m)&=X_H(m)
\end{align*}
for each $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$.
We claim that $X_H^\mu$ is $\pi_\mu$-related to the reduced Hamiltonian vector field $X_{H_\mu}:M_\mu\to TM_\mu$, meaning
\begin{align*}
d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m))
\end{align*}
for every $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$.
Let $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$ and let $v\in T_mJ^{-1}(\mu)$. Since $\pi_\mu:J^{-1}(\mu)\to M_\mu$ is a submersion, every tangent vector at $\pi_\mu(m)$ is of the form $d(\pi_\mu)_m(v)$ for some $v\in T_mJ^{-1}(\mu)$. Using $\pi_\mu^*\omega_\mu=i_\mu^*\omega$ and $H_\mu\circ\pi_\mu=H\circ i_\mu$, we compute
\begin{align*}
\omega_\mu(\pi_\mu(m))(d(\pi_\mu)_mX_H(m),d(\pi_\mu)_mv)
=
\omega(m)(X_H(m),v).
\end{align*}
By the defining equation for the Hamiltonian vector field $X_H$,
\begin{align*}
\omega(m)(X_H(m),v)=dH_m(v).
\end{align*}
By $H_\mu\circ\pi_\mu=H\circ i_\mu$,
\begin{align*}
dH_m(v)=d(H_\mu)_{\pi_\mu(m)}(d(\pi_\mu)_mv).
\end{align*}
Thus
\begin{align*}
\omega_\mu(\pi_\mu(m))(d(\pi_\mu)_mX_H(m),d(\pi_\mu)_mv)
=
d(H_\mu)_{\pi_\mu(m)}(d(\pi_\mu)_mv).
\end{align*}
Since $d(\pi_\mu)_m(v)$ ranges over all of $T_{\pi_\mu(m)}M_\mu$ and $\omega_\mu$ is nondegenerate, this proves
\begin{align*}
d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m)).
\end{align*}
[guided]
The point of reduction is that the dynamics on the quotient are obtained by pushing forward the original dynamics. We now verify that statement from the definitions.
Because $X_H$ is tangent to $J^{-1}(\mu)$, the value $X_H(m)$ lies in $T_mJ^{-1}(\mu)$ for every $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$. Hence it makes sense to apply $d(\pi_\mu)_m$ to $X_H(m)$. Define
\begin{align*}
X_H^\mu:J^{-1}(\mu)&\to T(J^{-1}(\mu))
\end{align*}
by
\begin{align*}
X_H^\mu(m)&=X_H(m).
\end{align*}
We want to show that this restricted vector field projects to $X_{H_\mu}$. Fix $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$ and $v\in T_mJ^{-1}(\mu)$. The reduced symplectic form is defined by
\begin{align*}
\pi_\mu^*\omega_\mu=i_\mu^*\omega.
\end{align*}
Evaluating this identity on the pair $(X_H(m),v)$ gives
\begin{align*}
\omega_\mu(\pi_\mu(m))(d(\pi_\mu)_mX_H(m),d(\pi_\mu)_mv)
=
\omega(m)(X_H(m),v).
\end{align*}
Now use the defining equation for $X_H$: for every tangent vector $w\in T_mM$,
\begin{align*}
\omega(m)(X_H(m),w)=dH_m(w).
\end{align*}
Applying this with $w=v$ gives
\begin{align*}
\omega(m)(X_H(m),v)=dH_m(v).
\end{align*}
Finally, the reduced Hamiltonian is defined by
\begin{align*}
H_\mu\circ\pi_\mu=H\circ i_\mu.
\end{align*}
Differentiating at $m$ in the direction $v\in T_mJ^{-1}(\mu)$ gives
\begin{align*}
d(H_\mu)_{\pi_\mu(m)}(d(\pi_\mu)_mv)=dH_m(v).
\end{align*}
Combining the preceding identities yields
\begin{align*}
\omega_\mu(\pi_\mu(m))(d(\pi_\mu)_mX_H(m),d(\pi_\mu)_mv)
=
d(H_\mu)_{\pi_\mu(m)}(d(\pi_\mu)_mv).
\end{align*}
Since $\pi_\mu$ is a submersion, $d(\pi_\mu)_m(v)$ ranges over all vectors in $T_{\pi_\mu(m)}M_\mu$. Therefore $d(\pi_\mu)_mX_H(m)$ satisfies the defining equation for the Hamiltonian vector field of $H_\mu$ at $\pi_\mu(m)$. By nondegeneracy of $\omega_\mu$,
\begin{align*}
d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m)).
\end{align*}
[/guided]
[/step]
[step:Identify the vertical tangent space with the infinitesimal $G_\mu$-orbit]
For each $m\in J^{-1}(\mu)$, the quotient projection $\pi_\mu:J^{-1}(\mu)\to M_\mu$ has fibers equal to $G_\mu$-orbits:
\begin{align*}
\pi_\mu^{-1}(\pi_\mu(m))=G_\mu\cdot m.
\end{align*}
Since the $G_\mu$-action is free and proper, the quotient theorem for free proper Lie group actions gives that $\pi_\mu$ is a principal $G_\mu$-bundle and a surjective submersion. Hence the vertical tangent space of this principal bundle is
\begin{align*}
\ker d(\pi_\mu)_m=T_m(G_\mu\cdot m).
\end{align*}
The orbit map through $m$ is the smooth map
\begin{align*}
\Phi_m:G_\mu&\to J^{-1}(\mu)
\end{align*}
defined by
\begin{align*}
\Phi_m(g)&=g\cdot m.
\end{align*}
Its differential at the identity sends $\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu$ to the infinitesimal generator value $\xi_M(m)$. Therefore
\begin{align*}
T_m(G_\mu\cdot m)=\{\xi_M(m):\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu\}.
\end{align*}
Consequently,
\begin{align*}
\ker d(\pi_\mu)_m=\{\xi_M(m):\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu\}.
\end{align*}
[/step]
[step:Show that a fixed momentum relative equilibrium gives a reduced equilibrium]
Assume that $m$ is a relative equilibrium at momentum $\mu$. Then there exists $\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu$ such that
\begin{align*}
X_H(m)=\xi_M(m).
\end{align*}
By the vertical tangent space computation,
\begin{align*}
\xi_M(m)\in\ker d(\pi_\mu)_m.
\end{align*}
Therefore
\begin{align*}
d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=0.
\end{align*}
Using the projection identity from the first step,
\begin{align*}
X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m))=d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=0.
\end{align*}
Thus $\pi_\mu(m)$ is an equilibrium of the reduced Hamiltonian system.
[/step]
[step:Show that a reduced equilibrium gives a fixed momentum relative equilibrium]
Assume that $\pi_\mu(m)$ is an equilibrium of the reduced Hamiltonian system. Then
\begin{align*}
X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m))=0.
\end{align*}
By the projection identity,
\begin{align*}
d(\pi_\mu)_m(X_H(m))=0.
\end{align*}
Hence
\begin{align*}
X_H(m)\in\ker d(\pi_\mu)_m.
\end{align*}
Using the vertical tangent space computation, there exists $\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu$ such that
\begin{align*}
X_H(m)=\xi_M(m).
\end{align*}
This is precisely the infinitesimal relative equilibrium condition at fixed momentum $\mu$.
It remains only to connect the infinitesimal condition with the trajectory statement. Let
\begin{align*}
\gamma:\mathbb R&\to M
\end{align*}
be the Hamiltonian trajectory through $m$, so $\gamma(0)=m$ and $\dot{\gamma}(t)=X_H(\gamma(t))$ wherever the trajectory is defined. Let
\begin{align*}
\sigma:\mathbb R&\to M
\end{align*}
be the group-orbit curve defined by
\begin{align*}
\sigma(t)&=\exp(t\xi)\cdot m.
\end{align*}
Because $H$ is $G$-invariant, the Hamiltonian vector field is $G$-equivariant. Hence, for all $t$ in the common domain of definition,
\begin{align*}
X_H(\sigma(t))=d(\exp(t\xi))_m(X_H(m)).
\end{align*}
Using $X_H(m)=\xi_M(m)$ and the fact that the one-parameter subgroup $\exp(t\xi)$ commutes with its generator, this becomes
\begin{align*}
X_H(\sigma(t))=\xi_M(\sigma(t)).
\end{align*}
Also,
\begin{align*}
\dot{\sigma}(t)=\xi_M(\sigma(t)).
\end{align*}
Thus $\sigma$ solves the Hamiltonian equation with the same initial condition as $\gamma$. By the local existence and uniqueness theorem for smooth ordinary differential equations, applied to the smooth vector field $X_H:M\to TM$, two integral curves with the same initial value agree on every connected component of their common interval of definition containing $0$. Hence
\begin{align*}
\gamma(t)=\exp(t\xi)\cdot m
\end{align*}
for every $t$ in the common interval of definition of the Hamiltonian trajectory and the group-orbit curve. Since $\xi\in\mathfrak g_\mu$, the curve $\exp(t\xi)$ lies in $G_\mu$, and therefore
\begin{align*}
\gamma(t)\in G_\mu\cdot m\subset J^{-1}(\mu).
\end{align*}
So $m$ is a relative equilibrium whose trajectory stays in the fixed momentum level.
[/step]
[step:Conclude the equivalence]
The preceding two steps prove both implications:
\begin{align*}
m \text{ is a relative equilibrium at momentum } \mu
\iff
X_{H_\mu}(\pi_\mu(m))=0.
\end{align*}
Equivalently, $m$ is a relative equilibrium whose trajectory remains in $J^{-1}(\mu)$ if and only if $\pi_\mu(m)$ is an equilibrium of the reduced Hamiltonian $H_\mu$ on $M_\mu$.
[/step]