[guided]We first record the root-space bookkeeping rule. Let $\alpha,\beta \in \Delta$, let $x \in \mathfrak g_\alpha$, and let $y \in \mathfrak g_\beta$. For every $H \in \mathfrak h$, the Jacobi identity gives
\begin{align*}
[H,[x,y]]
=
[[H,x],y]+[x,[H,y]].
\end{align*}
Since $x$ and $y$ are root vectors, $[H,x]=\alpha(H)x$ and $[H,y]=\beta(H)y$. Substituting these identities gives
\begin{align*}
[H,[x,y]]
=
\alpha(H)[x,y]+\beta(H)[x,y]
=
(\alpha+\beta)(H)[x,y].
\end{align*}
Thus, if $[x,y]\ne 0$, it is a vector of weight $\alpha+\beta$. Consequently $[\mathfrak g_\alpha,\mathfrak g_\beta]$ lies in $\mathfrak g_{\alpha+\beta}$ when $\alpha+\beta$ is a root, lies in $\mathfrak h$ when $\alpha+\beta=0$, and is zero when $\alpha+\beta$ is neither zero nor a root.
Apply this with $x=e_i \in \mathfrak g_{\alpha_i}$ and $y=f_j \in \mathfrak g_{-\alpha_j}$. Then $[e_i,f_j]$ has weight $\alpha_i-\alpha_j$. If $i\ne j$, the difference $\alpha_i-\alpha_j$ is not a root. The reason is structural: expressed in the simple-root basis, $\alpha_i-\alpha_j$ has coefficient $1$ on $\alpha_i$ and coefficient $-1$ on $\alpha_j$, while every root is either a nonnegative integral combination of simple roots or a nonpositive integral combination of simple roots. Therefore no nonzero root space of weight $\alpha_i-\alpha_j$ exists, and the bracket must vanish:
\begin{align*}
[e_i,f_j]=0.
\end{align*}
When $i=j$, the bracket is not determined by this vanishing argument because the weight is zero. Here we use the normalization of the Chevalley generators:
\begin{align*}
h_i=[e_i,f_i].
\end{align*}
Combining the two cases gives exactly
\begin{align*}
[e_i,f_j]=\delta_{ij}h_i.
\end{align*}[/guided]