[guided]The point of this step is that metric compatibility is the condition that determines the unknown $(1,0)$ connection matrix. We already know from the holomorphic-frame condition that no $(0,1)$ component remains, so the only unknown object is
\begin{align*}
\theta \in \Omega^{1,0}(U;\operatorname{Mat}_r(\mathbb{C})).
\end{align*}
For fixed indices $i,j \in \{1,\dots,r\}$, the metric matrix entry is the smooth function
\begin{align*}
H_{ij}: U \to \mathbb{C}, \qquad H_{ij}=h(e_i,e_j).
\end{align*}
Metric compatibility of $\nabla^E$ with $h$ means that differentiating this scalar function is the same as differentiating each vector argument using the connection:
\begin{align*}
dH_{ij} = d(h(e_i,e_j)) = h(\nabla^E e_i,e_j) + h(e_i,\nabla^E e_j).
\end{align*}
Now insert the local connection formula. The row-frame convention $\nabla^E e=e\theta$ means precisely that
\begin{align*}
\nabla^E e_i = \sum_{k=1}^r e_k\theta_{ki}
\end{align*}
and
\begin{align*}
\nabla^E e_j = \sum_{\ell=1}^r e_\ell\theta_{\ell j}.
\end{align*}
Because the Hermitian metric is conjugate-linear in the first argument and linear in the second, the scalar one-forms factor out as
\begin{align*}
h(\nabla^E e_i,e_j) = \sum_{k=1}^r \overline{\theta_{ki}}H_{kj}
\end{align*}
and
\begin{align*}
h(e_i,\nabla^E e_j) = \sum_{\ell=1}^r H_{i\ell}\theta_{\ell j}.
\end{align*}
Therefore
\begin{align*}
dH_{ij} = \sum_{k=1}^r \overline{\theta_{ki}}H_{kj} + \sum_{\ell=1}^r H_{i\ell}\theta_{\ell j}.
\end{align*}
Why does the desired formula involve $\partial H$ rather than all of $dH$? The reason is type decomposition. Each $\theta_{\ell j}$ is a $(1,0)$ form, hence each $\overline{\theta_{ki}}$ is a $(0,1)$ form. Taking the $(1,0)$ component of the preceding identity discards the first sum and keeps the second:
\begin{align*}
\partial H_{ij} = \sum_{\ell=1}^r H_{i\ell}\theta_{\ell j}.
\end{align*}
This is exactly the $(i,j)$ entry of the matrix product $H\theta$, where multiplication means ordinary matrix multiplication together with wedge product of forms. Hence
\begin{align*}
\partial H = H\theta.
\end{align*}[/guided]