[guided]The aim is to build one element $e$ that almost behaves like a unit for all elements of a prescribed finite set $F$. The reason for using the single positive element
\begin{align*}
b:=\sum_{a\in F}(a^*a+aa^*)
\end{align*}
is that it simultaneously dominates both $a^*a$ and $aa^*$ for every $a\in F$. The first domination controls $\|a-ae\|_A$, and the second controls $\|a-ea\|_A$.
Let $\varepsilon>0$ be fixed and set
\begin{align*}
\eta:=\varepsilon^2.
\end{align*}
If $F=\varnothing$, the element $e=0$ satisfies all required inequalities. If $F\ne\varnothing$, define $b$ as above. Each element $a^*a$ and $aa^*$ is positive, and finite sums of positive elements are positive, so $b\ge 0$. Put $R:=\|b\|_A$. If $R=0$, then $\|a^*a\|_A=0$ for every $a\in F$, hence $\|a\|_A^2=0$ by the C*-identity, so each $a$ is zero and again $e=0$ works.
Assume $R>0$. Define the scalar function
\begin{align*}
f:[0,R]\to[0,1],\qquad f(t):=\frac{t}{t+\eta}.
\end{align*}
This function is continuous, satisfies $f(0)=0$, and takes values between $0$ and $1$. The condition $f(0)=0$ is important in the nonunital case: continuous functional calculus for a positive element of a nonunital C*-algebra returns an element of the original algebra for functions vanishing at $0$. Define
\begin{align*}
e:=f(b)\in A.
\end{align*}
Because $0\le f\le 1$, the norm rule in continuous functional calculus gives $\|e\|_A\le 1$. To see positivity without relying on a slogan, define
\begin{align*}
q:[0,R]\to[0,1],\qquad q(t):=\sqrt{f(t)}.
\end{align*}
Then $q$ is continuous and $q(0)=0$. The multiplicative and involutive rules of functional calculus give
\begin{align*}
e=f(b)=q(b)^*q(b),
\end{align*}
so $e$ is positive.
We next estimate the right multiplication error. If $A$ has no unit, we work in the unitization $A^+$ and write $1_{A^+}$ for its unit. This is only a bookkeeping device: the element $a(1_{A^+}-e)=a-ae$ still belongs to $A$. Since
\begin{align*}
b-a^*a=\sum_{c\in F,\ c\ne a}c^*c+\sum_{c\in F}cc^*
\end{align*}
with the evident omission interpreted as zero when appropriate, the element $b-a^*a$ is positive. Multiplying this order inequality on the left and right by the self-adjoint element $1_{A^+}-e$ gives
\begin{align*}
0\le (1_{A^+}-e)a^*a(1_{A^+}-e)\le (1_{A^+}-e)b(1_{A^+}-e).
\end{align*}
The C*-identity gives
\begin{align*}
\|a-ae\|_A^2=\|a(1_{A^+}-e)\|_{A^+}^2=\|(a(1_{A^+}-e))^*a(1_{A^+}-e)\|_{A^+}.
\end{align*}
Therefore
\begin{align*}
\|a-ae\|_A^2\le \|(1_{A^+}-e)b(1_{A^+}-e)\|_{A^+}.
\end{align*}
Now we compute the last norm by functional calculus. Since $e=f(b)$, the elements $e$ and $b$ commute inside the commutative C*-subalgebra generated by $b$. Define
\begin{align*}
h:[0,R]\to[0,\infty),\qquad h(t):=t(1-f(t))^2=\frac{t\eta^2}{(t+\eta)^2}.
\end{align*}
The multiplicative rule for functional calculus gives
\begin{align*}
(1_{A^+}-e)b(1_{A^+}-e)=h(b).
\end{align*}
For every $t\in[0,R]$,
\begin{align*}
h(t)=\frac{t\eta^2}{(t+\eta)^2}\le \eta.
\end{align*}
Indeed, this is equivalent to $t\eta\le (t+\eta)^2$, which follows from $(t+\eta)^2-t\eta=t^2+t\eta+\eta^2\ge 0$. Hence the norm rule gives
\begin{align*}
\|h(b)\|_{A^+}\le \eta.
\end{align*}
Thus
\begin{align*}
\|a-ae\|_A^2\le \eta=\varepsilon^2.
\end{align*}
So $\|a-ae\|_A\le\varepsilon$.
The left multiplication estimate is not automatic from the right one unless the finite set is closed under adjoints, so we built $b$ with the extra terms $aa^*$. Since $b-aa^*$ is positive, the same order argument gives
\begin{align*}
\|a-ea\|_A^2=\|(1_{A^+}-e)aa^*(1_{A^+}-e)\|_{A^+}\le \|h(b)\|_{A^+}\le \eta.
\end{align*}
Therefore $\|a-ea\|_A\le\varepsilon$. If strict inequalities are desired, start the construction with a tolerance smaller than $\varepsilon$, for instance $\varepsilon/2$. This produces an element $e\in A$ that is positive, contractive, and two-sided $\varepsilon$-multiplicatively close to the identity on $F$.[/guided]